2/10/2009 - Bom Viagem to my Family

Today was a day that signifies a beginning and an end.

For years, my wife and I have been thinking about moving to Brazil.  Sometimes it was more of a fight than a discussion.  I was never really ready to go, and she was never really ready to stay.  I had always felt like maybe there was still a dream here for me to find.  I didn't accept the possibility that the dream itself could be in Brazil.

I still don't know where I will end up.

Over 3 months ago, Lia had ruptured a brain aneurysm.  She was immediately airlifted to St. John's Hospital in Springfield, Missouri where she had brain surgery on the very next day.  Very scary, very sudden, very unexpected and somehow very surreal.

Just before this, we had actually decided that we would move to Brazil - but we hadn't made any actual finalization to any plans made.  I had even told my parents we would be doing it.  I don't think they believed me.

Back to the aneurysm/brain surgery situation.  I thought, this will postpone these plans a little until she is fully recovered.  Turns out she recovered fully rather quickly - a miracle to say the least - and our plans to move to Brazil were more than solidified.  We made plans that Lia and our daughter would move first, and I would take care of our personal situations here (bills, taxes, debt, furniture) and rejoin them in June.  

Today was the day they left.

in 4 1/2 months - I will rejoin them.

Up until today, it wasn't surreal.  I saw it as a beginning to all that we had begun to hope for, plan for and starting over in life (after having acquired an uncomfortable amount of debt).  Today, the beginning was that I am on my own for a few months, I am making immediate efforts to take care of everything here and we are moving toward having completely moved to Brazil.  This is the beginning of a new chapter in our life.

Unfortunately, it was also an end.  I didn't think I would cry.  I thought I would be stronger.  It was hard.  It was really hard.  I will have to spend the next 4.5 months without my family and I may miss out on some of the neatest moments of my daughter's life.  

It's an end to the life that i have taken for granted here.  it's an end to knowing how it works and being in control.  I am no longer depended on - and in Brazil - I will have to reverse my role to depend on others because I have to learn the rules, I have to learn the life and I have to follow instead of lead.  That's a little disconcerting.

So, for now, I will just wait.  And work.  And move forward to that day when I see them in Brazil.

Enjoy the pictures...